Retroversion
by Numero
Summary: It's been fun. / Tadashi's life, from Hiro onwards. (Tadashi-centric, oneshot)


A/N: It's been a while since I've wrote something, and I'm actually kinda pleased with how this turned out. It's just a series of events during Tadashi's life (which means Hiro also plays a large part). I originally wanted to make it 100% Hiro & Tadashi bonding but then the gang wormed their way in... :) Anyway, enjoy!

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1. (22/14)

The last thought he had was _Hiro_

and not Professor Callaghan even though he was supposed to find him, save him. Tadashi hates leaving his little brother alone; he gets into _way_ too much trouble for a fourteen year old. When he pointed it out to Hiro once, and even going so far as to compare to his younger years ('_Back when I was your age.._.') his brother just laughed it off and jabbed at his lackluster life ('_Bet you didn't have this much money_'). And it was true, so they laughed together.

Not now, though. Tadashi has to find his teacher, and he hopes to do it quickly because the fire is now flickering dangerously close to his blazer, too close for his liking, too late to regret, and it's only getting hotter as he runs to the main lobby where Professor Callaghan was last seen.

His shoes skid across the lacquered floor as he makes a sharp turn into-

_fire-_

_Hiro!_

_._

2. (21/13)

Tadashi couldn't be any more prouder of his brother than he is now.

Everyone's in the typical blue graduation gown (Tadashi has faith in the continued existance of this outfit up until the end of time. He swears it's a conspiracy), and _Hiro_ is there too, looking quite ridiculous with the oversized piece of clothing on him. He looks so small, but his shoulders are squared and his back is firm with rigidity among all his older peers.

Tadashi strains his neck here and there, trying to find a good view of his brother. It's a good thing Hiro's sitting at the first row, otherwise he would have been dwarfed by his schoolmates. Tadashi hopes that his brother can see him- he sees Hiro's eyes scan the audience though, so it's more likely that he hasn't. Beside him, Cass tries to catch Hiro's attention by giving a small wave at shoulder level whenever his eyes sweep their vicinity, but she has yet to succeed.

His cap would have been a good guide for Hiro; however Tadashi has abandoned it for today in favour of looking more smart casual for his brother's graduation. He feels weird without its comforting weight, but the wind rustles his hair as if to say _don't worry, good boy_.

Hiro soon spots them, and if possible, he sits up even straighter. Now, there's a big grin on his face though, and it's a good difference. Tadashi and Cass smile back at their kid genius, the principal's speech becoming a constant droning in the background.

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3. (19/11)

"Are you serious?" Wasabi hisses uncomfortably close to his ear, and Tadashi discreetly turns away, so he is now facing Fred, who is the instigator of whatever's happening now. Gogo and Fred had barged into the nerd lab where Wasabi and Tadashi were both working on their individual projects. Then they had proceeded to drag the two boys out and squeeze them into a small car with Honey waiting at the wheel.

"Dude, yes!" Fred almost hits his face in his excitement and Tadashi turns back to face the front again.

"Can you go any faster?" Gogo has one palm on her face and the other is making grabby motions for the wheel.

Honey, in the driver's seat, waves Gogo's hand away. "This is a perfectly acceptable speed." Wasabi nods in agreement behind. "See? Wasabi says so too."

"Guys, we don't have to do this. We can just wait for two more years, it's not really that lo-" Tadashi tries to intevene, but Fred grasps his face with both hands and looks him dead in the eye, as serious as Fred can get.

"We're already doing it, no backing out now."

"I think," Honey lets go of the steering wheel and shifts in her seat so the upper half of her body is facing the three boys at the back while Gogo gives a cry of _surprise? joy? _and latches onto the wheel immediately, "that this is going to be awesome! And fun! Bonding activity, guys!" Her pretty manicured hands reach out to pinch all of their cheeks, but Wasabi being the one furthest away evades her touch and she frowns.

"Wasabi," there's a warning tone in her voice. The two immediately get into a _don't touch me/let me pinch your cheeks _argument, while Tadashi and Fred tries to dodge Honey's flamboyant hand gestures and Gogo expertly drives the car from her front passenger seat to their destination.

Which is the park where a shady cousin of Gogo's lives at and who can, apparently, make them fake IDs so they could go drinking in a bar to celebrate all of their nineteenth birthdays. Tadashi's pretty sure he can find at least two faults of logic in that sentence, but right now he's just too caught up in the back seat trying to protect his face from being smacked by Honey.

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4. (18/10)

He wakes up to a bouncing ball of energy on him.

"-adashi, Tadashi, wake up! Tadashi, Tadashi-" His brother digs one knee into his stomach and presses his grinning face into Tadashi's own startled one.

"I'm awake!" He yelps, pushing Hiro off and onto the ground. "I'm up. What? What's happening?"

Hiro gets up on his feet faster than he has ever seen before. "Look! Look!" He waves a piece of paper and Tadashi sees the logo of one university he has had his eye on for a _very_ long time. His heart starts to jump into excitement and he's really wide awake now. "What?"

Hiro's toothed grin, together with the news he delivers, might just be the best moment in his life. "You got into San Fransokyo Institute of Technology!"

#

Cass climbs up the stairs, slower than Hiro. She stops to yawn for a bit- the sleep still hasn't gotten out of her yet. The memory of _why_ brings a smile onto her face.

"Aunt Cass," Hiro had whispered at _six_ in the_ morning_, beside her bed. Cass doesn't even wake till seven thirty.

"Hiro, sweetie, it's too early for your or my brain to work," she groaned, and tried to go back to sleep.

"But Aunt Cass," he insisted, tugging at her arm. "I need to know: where do you put the letter-box key?"

"What? Why?" Cass sat up groggily, rubbing at her eyes. She then reached into her purse at her nightstand with the energy and speed of a sloth as her nephew practically vibrated with impatience, and brought out a silver key with a cat keychain attached. "It's this one."

"Thanks Aunt Cass!" Hiro snatched the key from her hand and flew out of her room. She heard his footsteps descend and Cass flopped back onto her bed, snuggling into the warmth. A while later, Hiro shot back upstairs.

Cass took a few minutes to stare into blank space, before trying to rationalise Hiro's actions. Then she remembered about Tadashi's application for the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology, and how the results was supposed to have come today.

"Oh," she breathed to herself and sighed happily. Tadashi got in, she could say with 100% confidence. She'll celebrate it with him later, though. Her bed is _warm_.

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5. (16/8)

For the first time in his life, Tadashi has had his heart broken.

Yuki is a girl with curly hair, lovely eyes and big dreams, bigger than what a boy in a cap could give, ones that another boy living in a mansion could fulfil.

Tadashi thinks he shouldn't be _this_ sad, since they've only been dating for five months. But those five months of exploration and intimacy had been- fun. _Different_.

"Oh well," he grumbles out loud and puts his cap on his face while leaning back on his chair. He stays that way for a while, aimlessly spinning in circles when Hiro enters the room.

"Hi Tadashi!" he chirps happily, tossing his school bag in a corner and scrambling to turn on his computer.

Tadashi cocks his head and his cap falls onto his chest. "Hey Hiro." Then he puts it back onto his face, breathing in the fruity scent of his hair wash and resuming his moping.

The sounds of frantic typing soon stops, and the cap is lifted off. Big brown eyes stare at him. "Whassa matter?"

"Uh," Tadashi mumbles, because he's kept his relationship with Yuki a secret, and he doesn't really want to tell Hiro about, well, romantic love.

"Rule number 342, Hamada brothers don't keep secrets from each other," Hiro narrows his eyes. That sneaky boy.

"Rule number 343, Hamada brothers get privacy," Tadashi counters, and lunges for his cap. Hiro jumps away with the boundless energy of a nine year old.

"Not from each other!" He runs back and tackles Tadashi. He should've seen it coming, and Tadashi lets out a bark of laughter, ruffling Hiro's hair. The two siblings lie on the floor for a while, before Hiro breaks the silence. "So you gonna tell me or what? Because if you don't tell me, I can't do anything..."

"Well," Tadashi drags out the syllable, trying to think of a good way to phrase it. "My, uh, first relationship didn't end well."

"Your _what_?" Hiro screeches and grabs his shirt collar. "_Ew!_"

Tadashi laughs, and pulls Hiro down into a tickling war.

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6. (15/7)

"_Hey man, so you coming or what? The rest of the boys are going._"

Tadashi turns to look at Hiro, drawing some sort of machine on pieces of paper scattered on the living room table. He should invest in a notebook for him, Tadashi absentmindedly notes. Then he goes back to the present.

"Sure."

"_Yeah man! Alright, see ya_." The phone clicks, and Tadashi puts the receiver back. He takes two breaths before turning to Hiro.

"Hiro..?"

Immediately, the boy's head snaps up to look at his brother, hand paused in its motion. "Hmm?"

"I, uh," Tadashi scratched his head, avoiding Hiro's gaze. "I can't hang out with you tomorrow."

"Why?" he is devastated, and Tadashi feels like the worst brother in the world to say, "I'm going out with my friends from school."

When there is no response, Tadashi looks up to find his brother immersed in his drawings again. It's almost like the past few seconds hadn't happened, but Tadashi sees the trembling of his brother's lips and the rapid blinking of his eyelids.

"I-I'm sorry Hiro, but we can always hang out another time." He's spent so much time with his brother that his social life is suffering. Sure, Tadashi enjoys being around his brother, but his friends don't understand why and he's _always_ blowing them off for Hiro. So, Tadashi reasons with himself, one day without Hiro is fine. It's fair.

Except that now his brother is crying.

"Hiro," Tadashi makes to move towards him but Hiro yells out "_go away_!" and stumbles off to find Cass, most likely. Tadashi sighs, feeling guilty for what he just did, but it's _fair_. He picks up his brother's drawings instead of chasing after him, not wanting to deal with the tears and the accusations. Aunt Cass would have to, in his stead. Meanwhile, Tadashi brings all the papers up to his and Hiro's room.

After twenty minutes of brooding in his room, and no Hiro rushing up to say "_it's alright_", Tadashi makes his way to the cafe to help his aunt in comforting Hiro. He enters the cafe to find that it is crowded, but manages to talk to his aunt anyway, who is preparing a drink behind the counter.

"Oh good, you're here, Tadashi. I know it isn't your shift, but could you pretty please help to clear that table there?" Cass pleads to Tadashi when she spots him edging towards the counter.

"Yeah, sure, but how's Hiro feeling now?" Tadashi interjects between a customer's orders and grabs a dish rag.

"Hiro? He didn't come down," Cass wrinkles her nose while trying to think. "Wasn't he in the living room?"

"No- oh no," Tadashi drops the rag back at the counter and rushes out the door, leaving his aunt startled and confused.

#

He finds Hiro in the park where they used to visit together. They still do, when Tadashi has the time to.

He's sitting under a tree when the sun sets and Tadashi approaches. Hiro doesn't move, just sits there with his knees tucked under his chin and hands ripping grass off the ground. Tadashi sets himself down beside him, and the two of them watch the sky turn from blue to pink.

"I'm sorry," Tadashi says. He feels like he should.

"No, you're not," Hiro replies.

"Why are you mad? I spend nearly everyday with you."

Hiro tears the grass with increased vigour. "But now you don't want to."

"What? No, of course I do. It's just- one day off."

Then Hiro starts to sob. Tadashi shifts and crawls over to him, trying to hug him in his awkward curled-up position. "Hiro?"

"Y-You don't want to be m-my brother anymore," he chokes out between tears.

Tadashi is astonished. "No! What made you think that?"

"Your friends are c-cooler than me and I'm just y-your dumb brother and you bored of m-"

"Hiro," Tadashi strokes his hair. So this is what it's about. Hrio was just insecure. "_Ot__out__o_. I think you're the coolest and smartest person I know. You can fix stuff that Aunt Cass and I break, and you like robots like me, and you always, always," he gives his brother a hug-squeeze, "make me happy. I'm glad to have you as my brother."

The crying subsides, and Tadashi whispers into his brother's ear, "I'll cancel tomorrow and we can watch movies together."

Hiro shakes his head. "No need," he extends his short arms around his elder brother and hugs him back. "I-I was just jealous. I'm sorry. Thank you."

"It's okay," Tadashi says as the sky turns to black. "I'd rather watch a movie, anyway." He feels Hiro's grip on this tighten, and he understands what he means to Hiro, what _Hiro_ means to him.

"Let's go home."

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7. (13/5)

Tadashi watches his brother assemble a toy from a kit that Cass had bought for them. His fingers are nimble and his brain is fast- soon a car is created. Hiro isn't satisfied, and reaches out for Tadashi's kit. The latter obliges and slides him the box. Faster than the first one, another car pops out.

He's in awe.

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8. (12/4)

Tadashi is jealous of his brother.

Hiro gets all the attention from people, Hiro isn't the one who remembers their dead parents, Hiro's the smart one.

Tadashi can cry from the injustice, but he doesn't. Instead, he kicks tables and slams doors passive-aggressively. Then one day, Cass sits him down for a word.

"Tadashi," she tilts his head to face her when he turns away to pout. "You're being quiet these days. Do you have anything on your mind that you wanna tell me?"

"No," he says flatly. "Can I go now?"

"Is it because of Hiro?" Cass probes, and he stills, before panicking and frowning again. "No!"

Tadashi didn't see, but Cass smiles knowingly. She then pulls him onto her lap, eliciting an embarrassed shout from the boy who struggles to get out of her grip, but Cass holds him tight and begins to cuddle him. "Let me tell you a story," she says soothingly.

"Let me go," Tadashi begs, squirming, but Cass ignores him.

"I had a sister once." Tadashi stops moving. "And she was the best sister in the world, I think. I couldn't really know, because I wasn't really that close to her. When we were growing up, she was always the better one."

"I was jealous," Cass admits, and she feels a burning inside of her from admitting it out loud. "So I didn't try to talk to her, or get to know her. And then we grew up, and she got married and I got my own business and it was like we weren't in each others' lives anymore but I still think of her sometimes, and I wonder if she ever thought of me? She must have, because last year I got two boys on my doorstep and-" Cass stops because she's choking with emotions.

She swallows her saliva and coughs. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, what the _point_ is, it's that you only have one sibling in your life, Tadashi, and their success does not mean your failure. Don't-Don't waste time being angry and sad and jealous, because it's time that could've been love and happy and friends instead." Cass pats her nephew on his head. "And I think the second choice is nicer, isn't it?"

Tadashi manages to nod, and hopes that his aunt doesn't see the tears forming in his eyes. He pushes her arm away and she lets him. Tadashi gets off her lap, and makes his way up. He stops at the door for a little while to say:

"She did think of you. You were her baby sister," and left.

Cass exhales loudly into the silence, and cries a little.

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9. (11/3)

Everything's alright, everything's okay, Tadashi is here. Hiro is here.

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10. (10/2)

Tadashi is startled awake by a loud, wailing noise. It takes a while for him to realise that it is his brother's crying, coming from his parents' room. He lays in his bed for a while, trying to drown out the noise with sheer willpower, but gives up when it's clear that willpower isn't enough.

Sleepily, Tadashi gets out of bed and walks towards his parents' bedroom. He sticks his head inside the room, whining softly. "_Kaaaaaa-san! Toooooou-san!_"

"Oh, Tadashi, you woke up," and his mother looks so dismayed at that fact. She's holding Hiro in her arms on her side of the bed, while her husband is laying face down on his pillow with one hand raised on Hiro's back.

Tadashi frowns. "What's wrong? Hiro can't sleep?"

"Apparently not," his mother murmurs, adjusting her hold on Hiro.

"Can I try?" he doesn't wait for a response and climbs over his father to reach his brother. His mother hands him Hiro with a "_sure, dear, careful!_" and he sits down in between his parents, clutching his younger brother.

Hiro quietens down almost immediately, and blink curious brown eyes at him. Tadashi chuckles with delight as one tiny hand curls around his index finger.

"Oh thank heavens," their father mumbles and promptly falls asleep beside them. Meanwhile, their mother stares at them in amazement.

"Hiro, Hiro, Hirooooo," Tadashi coos, and Hiro giggles.

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10. (9/1)

His kaa-san and tou-san are bringing him and his otouto to the park today! It is Hiro's first outing, and Tadashi wants to make sure that he has a good time.

Tadashi nags at his mother to put more sandwiches in the bag, to make sure Hiro's milk is warm enough, to bring extra handkerchiefs just in case. He nags at his father too; to quickly choose a spot, to spread the picnic mat a bit faster, to pass Hiro to him now!

He handles Hiro and laughs at the faces he makes while his parents set up and share loving glances at their family. When they are all settled down, his mother bounces Hiro on her lap and his father makes flower crowns for everyone. Tadashi runs around chasing butterflies, and manages to bring back one to show his family before his hands loosen and the butterfly escape from his cupped hands.

When it's food time, Tadashi washes his hands and eats his sandwich, giving a small piece to Hiro.

Then suddenly, Hiro starts to cry and his skin turns red and Tadashi drops his food. "What's wrong with him?" he nearly bursts into tears himself. His parents quickly fusses over Hiro, and soon the entire picnic is cancelled. They go to a clinic instead, and Hiro is administered medication. Allergies, they say.

"Tadashi, did you feed Hiro anything?" His father asks sternly when they are back home, and Tadashi does cry. He says yes, but he didn't know that his baby brother would react like that. It was just a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Tadashi is explained how allergies work on that day, and he cried again, knowing how his brother could have died because of him.

In between tears, he solemnly promises to become a better brother.

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11. (8/0)

His mother inflates like a balloon, and everyone is happy about it.

"Tadashi, you're going to be a _onii-san_!" They say. Tadashi doesn't actually understand, but he smiles and nods accordingly because everyone's just so excited. It's only until that night when he finally realises the severity of the situation.

"Mama's in the _hospital_, and she's giving birth to my _baby brother_?" He asks his father for the hundredth time that night.

"Yes, Tadashi," he smiles indulgently, hand tapping on his knee. "Mama's in there."

They're sitting outside a room, and everything is so white.

"H-" Tadashi stutters, trying to form the word in his mouth. "_Hiro_ is in there, too?"

"Yes, Tadashi." His father is distracted, trying to look through the frosted glass even though it's impossible to do so.

"Hiro is my otouto."

"Yes, Tadashi."

"_My_ otouto?"

"Yes, Tadashi."

And when the doors open to Tadashi and his father, when he clambers to his mother's side and demands too see his brother, and when he does

the first thought he has was _Hiro_


End file.
